Subject: Awakenings 897 views

[princessofpain]

I read this on another site but maybe it's also usefull for this one, a tread in which people tell their story of their awakening. I know sharing those experiences can be very usefull to those who are awakening. I don't have much time for now, but I'll post mine first thing tommorow.
Greets Princess

[NN]

that sounds great! ;Deveryone can learn from that
so you've heared it post anything about your awakening here!

[princessofpain]

Well here it goes, my awakening:

The first signs I got must have been end of januari beginning of februari 2004. But it came and it went and I thought I'd just came down with a flue.

In may all of the sudden everything started changing. I felt really sick, I was dizzy and my world started looking completely different from what it looked before. I never liked the sun but now I felt sick when it was shining and noises were way louder than they were before.

At first I thought I had gotten into a psychosis. I went to my doctor and visited a psychologist and they said I was healthy but having panicattacks. Well they were right about that one because I totally freaked out from all the symptoms.

It must have been about Oktober when things started to get a little better and I guess the word awakening is a very good choice because I felt like I had woken up. It felt like waking up but on a different planet. I allways had psychic abilities but they got way stronger. With some people it was so strong that I really had to take some distance.

This was in particular the case with a friend who had about the same abilities as I did. I felt everything he felt and knew everything about him all of the sudden. I also started feeding the psi way of him. I didn't know I was doing that, and neither did he. His astral body started to feed on me to (without knowing) and we got into some kind of fight over the energy. Again without knowing what was happening, all I knew is that I loved the lad, he was a very good friend and all of the sudden we were arguing and we didn't even know why. I'm a very peacefull person but I felt I wanted to attack him in the fysical sense.

So I asked advice to a friend of me and she said: "it looks as if you two are constantly draining eachothers energy and than get angry in order to get it back". I didn't know if it was right what she was saying but I decided to try and loosen the bond between him and me. And it worked. It worked out really good and we never ever had one argument again. In fact he is my donor now, and I no longer take so much he gets totally empty but I limit myself to take onle the peaks of his energy.

But okay, I knew the whole thing with energy was going on, but I still didn't know why. Than I got bloodcravings. That was hell. I totally freaked out by it. I went to the doctors again because this time I was sure I had a psychosis. Well the doctor said again there was absolutely nothing wrong with me and that it probably was the stress coming out that way. But I just felt that wasn't the right answer.

I rememberd somewhere in the back of my head there was a kind of "disease" called vampirism. I started looking on internet and I found Nasta. Nasta told me the first bits about vampirism (and I'm still very glad he did, thanks brother).

From there on I joined up with the sanctum of Elorath and placed an ad on another site to find others like me. I managed to find quite a few people who are vampires too. And I even found the love of my life. I still haven't met him but we mail every day and soon I hope to visit him.

Well that was the story of my awakening. Looking back at it I think it was a really bad experience but looking at the outcome of it I think I'm more connected to myself now and I can safely say I am quite a happy vampiregirl. I'm okay with who I am and next to the side effects that can get quite bad sometimes, I think it's been a change for the better.

Greets Princess

Ps. please remember not all awakenings are alike and some people don't even go trough an awakening.

[NN]

:odid i really helped you!?
i think i'm having a hart attack right now
how could i have helped i'm not even a vampire myself
but well i'm glad it was some usefull information for you i'm always trying to do my best to help and i'm glad it helped this time ;D

[princessofpain]

Yes you really did help me. You told me what vampires are and I slowly began to understand what was happening to me. At first I was still a bit in denial but the more I thought about it the more the things you said made sense. And that's why I'll always see you as my brother.
Greets Princess

[NN]

well that's very nice i didn't know i knew that much to help vampires themselves with it

[sin]

Het ontwaken in je ware natuur , het overvalt je, zoals het mij is overvallen, ik ben al zoveel jaren bezig met vampirisme, vanaf kinds aan voel ik me al anders, zoals de meesten, ik ben een psi vampier en had al vroeg dat ik werdt overvoerd door de emoties van anderen, als een vloedgolf, destijds begreep ik niet wat het inhield nu gelukkig wel en kan me er dan ook voor shielden(het blokken) maar sinds het moment dat ik begreep wat ik was begon alles enorm snel te gaan en werden alsmaar heftiger aanwezig, het overvoerd raken door emoties ,de beelden die ik in mn hoofd zie, de geuren en kleuren, alle zintuigen worden versterkt, the thirst, ik ben me gaan afzondigen van anderen tot dat ik een andere psi vampier leerde kennen waar ik heel veel van heb geleerd, we moeten van elkaar leren, elkaar in het ontwaken steunen, ik weet dat als je met enorme tegenslagen te kampen krijgt je terug bent waar de hele reis begon en dat het dan steeds zwaarder wordt.

[NN]

Kan je me misschien iets meer uitleggen over wat voor emoties je dan krijgt en wat je dan voelt. Ik weet nog niet heel veel van Psi Vampires maar wil er alles over weten. Dus hopelijk kan ik iets meer uitleg krijgen.

[sin]

De emoties die ik zoal voel ,zijn meestal gemixte gevoelens, je bent een mega spons die alles op zn weg absorbeerd, waar je regelmatig depressies van kunt krijgen als je jezelf niet goed afschermt van negatieve emoties, het kan wel eens erg moeilijk zijn om je eigen gevoelens te onderscheiden van anderen, twisted minds, ga je bijvoorbeeld naar een plek met enorm veel mensen, raak je overvoerd, te veel wat je dan absorbeerd, op dat moment, raak je geergerd en uitgeput, is niet veel voor nodig, gezien we toch meestal op onze reserves teren en wordt het voeden alleen maar zwaarder, dus erg belangrijk om je goed te kunnen shielden.

[NN]

Hoe kwam jij er dan achter dat je een psi vamp bent? Want als je daar langzaam mee opgroeit weet je toch niet beter? Dan ga je je meestal niet afvragen waarom, omdat het gewoon normaal is. Dus blijf ik nog even verward. Maar met je uitleg heb ik al wel het een en ander geleert. ;D Bedankt.

[sin]

Ik heb altijd geweten dat ik zo veel anders was dan de anderen om me heen, maar waarom ik zo anders was wist ik niet, wat was ik, waarom voelde ik al die dingen, ik keek heel anders tegen de wereld aan, nergens bij passend, tot ik een aantal jaren geleden een Vampier tegen het lijf liep, toen viel alles op zn plaats, toen werd het me pas echt duidelijk waar ik al die jaren naar opzoek ben geweest, ik heb veel dingen leren controleren en nog elke dag leer ik dingen bij, het hele leven is een leerprocess, gelukkig sta ik er nu niet meer alleen voor zoals destijds.

[NN]

Tja, als je stopt met leren zou alles voor je bekend zijn. En wat moet je dan?
Nou ik heb me ook altijd al anders gevoelt, en ik denk nogsteeds dat ik anders ben. Maar wat precies is nogsteeds niet duidelijk voor mij. ::)Daarom ben ik op zoek naar antwoorden, maar die zijn lastig te vinden.

[zidarlys]

pff, my awakening, it's a period I have largely blocked from my concsious memory.

For me, it started at age 17, the beginning of the summer. I'm generally quite healthy, and headaches were something I would only get when taking it over from people around me (I have some abilities, including energetic healing, being empathic, I can feel what others feel). But back then, I suddenly started to get heavy headaches, without any reason. No-one in my surroundings were having headaches, and I wasn't experiencing stress or what so ever. For a while, I just tried to fight it with painkillers, but that didn't do much. I went to an opticien to check my eyes, and instead of worse vision, my eyes had improved. straaaange. But ok, new contacts, but the headaches remained, so it wasn't that. Finally went to a doctor, but it wasn't migrain.Luckily sunglasses helped a bit after I figured out that outside the headaches got worse. Around that time (had the headaches a few weeks), I was already starting to feel lethargic, everything was too tiring to undertake. Beside that, I kept drinking, even water, which I usually never drink, but I kept thirsty. To make things even worse, it seemed I coudn't fall asleep anymore. It would be around 5 or 6 in the morning I would eventually fall asleep, and when the alarm went off, I could barely wake up. In the weekends this worked out a bit better, I stayed up, sometimes till 8 in the morning, before I went to bed, and if my ex wouldnt wake me in the meantime, I would sleep till about 6 in the evening, shortly said, my whole day/night routines turned around. In those days I was practising wicca, and through that, found out about vampirism. The symptoms described sounded só familiar. I started to get my hands on every piece of information I could get, and it didn't take long for me to realize it was my 'problem'. While I kept reading everthing I could, I was struggling with myself. I'm an active practisioner of native american shamanism, something that is all about helping others, and I couldn't intergrate being a vampire, a 'parasite' as I first felt like, with that.
This all seems a lifetime ago now. I found a way to intergrate the both, supplementing eachother. Yes, I think I can say, I'm whole now.